@Cait_Plus_Eight: Your ex asking if you can still be friends is like kidnappers saying "keep in touch" after they let you go.
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@Terdoh: I typed "Cigarettes" in the search bar and it said "No Matches". The universe has spoken.
@ddsmidt: On the box it said "do not put your tongue on battery." I would never put my tongue on a battery. Although. I kinda want to now.
@ilovepie84: Whenever I test drive a car and the Salesman decides to come along, I lock the doors lock eyes and say "We ride together, we Die together."
@illiter8too: sure I’d love to attend your baby shower, I mean babies are so rare, there’s only like, what, a half-billion of them at any given time or something