@ilovepie84: Your Ex is like spilt milk. If you put newspaper over them its like the mistake never happened.
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@philandher96: Trying to make pancakes this morning and it turns out I didn't get the spatula in the divorce.
@Gre_Gone: [Wife finds me crying on kitchen floor] Me: I fell & spilled honey on myself. Wife: Me: Will you ki Wife: I'm not kissing your Honey Boo Boo
@torrami: All the kings horses and all the kings men probably feel like they're being grossly underutilized with that whole egg thing.