@ilovepie84: Your Ex is like spilt milk. If you put newspaper over them its like the mistake never happened.
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@MooseAllain: In a hotel room. The dog's growling and whimpering. My wife's worried the neighbours will think we're having sex.
@kyle_thatisall: IRONMAN 3 SPOILER ALERT: Tony's all "pffsh whatever I'm Ironman" then he's all "JARVIS HELP" then he's sad but then it's like whaaaaat.
@Reverend_Scott: "Can I take your order?" Wait, take it where? "No, not-" I haven't even given you my order yet "I mean-" WHERE ARE YOU TAKING MY ORDER
@LMLMadness: Last night I dreamt I laid in bed all day drinking wine, eating chocolate & watching Netflix. Tomorrow I'm making my dreams come true.