@charliedelta7: Your face. There's a bat for that.
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@prodigis: *to commander* Don't say anything too loud sir I suspect one of our men may be a plant *conspicuous tree in admiral uniform starts to sweat*
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Damn dog is under the covers again! Wife: No she's not. She's next to the bed. Me: Oh. Wife: ... Me: Might be time to shave your legs.
@sageboggs: Just saw The Martian. If Matt Damon was alone on Mars, who was filming him that whole time? Clearly fake