@charliedelta7: Your face. There's a bat for that.
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@GotBadTouched: People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I'd run way more miles a day if someone holding a bagel was running in front of me and someone holding a spider was chasing after me.
@Thomas_Lull: Life is like a box of condoms. If you don't use one, you never know what you're goin get.
@BakedElle: I now pronounce you internet boyfriend and girlfriend. You may put your hand down your pants and kiss your phone.