We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@Contwixt: Your fancy knocking pattern isn't going to entice me into answering the door, either.
@susiezennario: Ticketmaster: $55 per ticket
Me: ok I’ll take 2
Ticketmaster: ok that will be $400
@Reverend_Scott: Carl: Perfect weather tonight.
Me: Tell me something I don't know.
Carl: Butterflies taste with their feet.
Me: Fair enough.
@junejuly12: The right sneeze can adjust a tampon.
@Gre_Gone: [coming through customs]
Okay Sir 1 last thing before we're done. Is there anything you'd like to declare?
"I've had sex."