@vladchoc: Your first instinct is gonna to be to spell “leopard” and “deaf” correctly. You’re going to want to resist that. – Best band manager ever.
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@ixSEANxi: Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I've only done that with pizza
@furrrizzle: Dear diary, My date got really excited when I said I wanted to cook for him. Apparently Meth wasn't what he expected. Dating is bull shit
@Mikecanrant: *puts baby marshmallows on a porcupine* There you go little guy. Now you're bouncy.
@causticbob: Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security? Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.