@vladchoc: Your first instinct is gonna to be to spell “leopard” and “deaf” correctly. You’re going to want to resist that. – Best band manager ever.
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@Savage_Scavange: Never really had a nickname in my life.. Except maybe that one time a bunch of chumps called me "The defendant" for a full day.
@Crutnacker: BIDEN: That went well. OBAMA: Did you have to say you loved Trump's sons in Twilight? BIDEN: It's what I do.
@primawesome: A lady just walked into Taco Bell, dumped every hot sauce packet in her bag and left. I should follow her. What's the rest of her day like?
@sixfootcandy: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: [stops painting nails] Nope. What's up?