@ibid78: Your first mistake was wearing heels in this dodgeball tournament, Jason. The second was thinking that they went with that dress.
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@SeanINCypress: Did anyone else go into a furious, violent rage when they found out that George Lucas filmed most of Star Wars here on Earth?
@TheGladStork: Sorry I panicked and told your kids that Santa is able to visit every house in one night because he does meth.
@DancesWithTamis: [The Beatles writing Here Comes The Sun] Paul: so what should come after here comes the sun? [Ringo screams from bathroom]: Doo Doo, Doo Doo
@PorkUrPine: Me: *delivers fantastic presentation* Fish Boss: great work! Me: thanks for letting MINNOW what you think! Fish Boss: you're fired.