@JayElem00: Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person.
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@HatfieldAnne: Him: You were supposed to do something about the groundhog under the deck. Me: I did. I named him Lord Melbourne. He likes Cocoa Puffs.
@KeetPotato: "dont get conned into spendin our lottery money" i wont [calls wife back] will 2 sharks fit in our pool? "NO" ok [to salesman] one shark pls
@murrman5: [wife yelling in waterpark] "BRENT SOMEONE IS STEALING THE CAR" [top of huge slide] K IM STILL GONNA TAKE THE SLIDE DOWN CUZ IT'll BE FASTER
@RobertJrDowney: Just imagine if Usain Bolt was your father and you were trying to run away from a beating.