@JayElem00: Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person.
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@CaptOblivious1: I went for a run but came back home after 5 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 5 minutes
@FattMernandez: You guys ever smear fake blood on your mouth, put on a ripped shirt, go in somewhere and pretend you got mugged? PEOPLE ARE SO NICE!
@Karissajem: Nephew: Wouldn't it be cool to breathe fire like a dragon? Me:*drinking gin straight from the bottle* We're about to find out, kid.
@sarcasm_inc: "2015 AND PETSMART STILL DOESN'T HAVE FITTING ROOMS," I say somewhat loudly as Fluffy has to try on sweaters right there in the aisle.