@GabbbarSingh: Your greatness is measured by the font-size of your obituary.
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@LurkAtHomeMom: Not saying I deserve a gold medal in parenting, but it's 4:47 PM and my 4yo just yelled "FINE THEN, I'M GOING TO BED!" So you be the judge.
@longwall26: The ocean is full of sharks, jellyfish, man-eating octopus, and nightmare whales, but make sure you wait a half-hour after eating to go in.
@moneebthinks: Me: Another one, barkeep! I'm not driving! Bartender: *warily makes me a third ice cream sundae*