@MariyaAlexander: Your Harvard education doesn't make me respect you more - it makes me respect Harvard less.
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@thejoelstein: 4-yr-old son gave smartest answer ever to "How do you know if something is art?" "People tell you."
@HammerFist3: Cat owner : wow my pet cat really likes you Me: yeah well that's just because I have at least 2 sardines in my left pocket at any given time
@MartaEffing: My date told me he was 32 years old. I responded by saying, 'that's how many teeth adult humans have'. I sure hope he asks me out again.