@MariyaAlexander: Your Harvard education doesn't make me respect you more - it makes me respect Harvard less.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KalvinMacleod: HUSBAND 911: what your emergency? ME: my wife hears everything HUSBAND 911: do I? ME: what? HUSBAND 911: what?
@cbdoubleu: Jeopardy] Alex: This floats your boat. Me [buzzing in]: What is buoyancy? Alex: I'm sorry. The answer we were looking for is, Whatever.
@ashleyaustrew: "I don't know the government, and I'm not giving them any of my coins." - my 4yo after I explained taxes