@YoungManDadJoke: Your head is basically just the smartest part of your body wrapped in the spookiest part of your body.
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@Jake_Vig: I wish people would move over a bit in their selfies. We're redecorating a bathroom and looking for ideas.
@Ristolable: [pitch meeting] Okay so it's a ton of dogs. Dalmatians. 100 of 'em. I call it "100 Dalmatians." [idea man pipes in] Let's think bigger
@michaeljhudson: Prank: put a bucket of water on top of the door, then shoot your roommate in the stomach. When the cops come, they get soaking wet!
@BrianIncognito: I was dismissed from my responsibilities as church usher because I kept using finger guns to point out available seats. * pew pew *