@YoungManDadJoke: Your head is basically just the smartest part of your body wrapped in the spookiest part of your body.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Matt_the_1st: Due to an unforeseen error during last night's love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
@AnnietheNanny1: If you're not going to offer booze at your wedding, at least have the decency to provide a wifi password.
@TheMichaelRock: [at restaurant]] 8yo: why does mom eat half of your food? Me: because.. Wife *evil glare* Me *terrified* because I don't want it.