@DurtMcHurtt: Your helium addiction is out of control, but nobody is taking your cry for help seriously.
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@attsmcjay: Hubs: " Few glasses of wine tonight hun"? Me: " Yeah, I had a glass of red" Hubs : " Just one eh" Me: " Well I use the same glass"
@p_net: Her: Describe your ideal date. Me: I'd order an extra large pizza. Her: Interesting. What would I be wearing? Me: Oh, you'd be there, too?
@iscoff: if you eat one piece of bread shortly after you're born and another piece right before you die, all food is a sandwich
@juliussharpe: If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they'd shoot her out of the sky with a drone.