@DurtMcHurtt: Your helium addiction is out of control, but nobody is taking your cry for help seriously.
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@SodomyClown: ME: "I don't like this movie." HIM: "We are at a funeral." ME: "Who directed this?" HIM: "A bear attack." ME: "Never heard of him."
@lisaxy424: Me: I'd kill for a body like that Them: well by monitoring your calorie intake and daily exercise you c- Me: yeah I'd rather kill
@xosm: Kid: would you rather be the Evil Queen or the Wicked Witch? M: I'd rather be the Mom K: ooh, right. Much scarier.
@ohpegah: [playing with a Ouija board with my dog] Board: B A L L Me: I know that's you moving it! Stop! Board: T R E A T S