@maxlavergne: your honor, i nominate the real murderer for the ice bucket challenge!! [a guy stands up] nice
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@13spencer: I'd like to think that my exes see me as "the one who got away," but it's probably more like "the one who got away from the police."
@AmishPornStar1: Never judge a book by its cover... Take it to dinner and see how it treats the waitstaff, then judge it.
@_sinistroll: WIFE: He makes everything into a wood pun ME: This couch has such great lumber support WIFE: See?? THERAPIST: Try to stop ME: Oakey dokey