@shariv67: "Your honor, my client is absolutely not a flight risk."n"What makes you so sure?"n"He is a penguin."
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@TwatWaffler69: Wife: "they're disgusting, they carry diseases, they eat garbage!" Me: are we talking about your parents, raccoons, or the kids?
@Kyle_Lippert: "Trump is a good businessman" He has a failed steak biz, a failed vodka biz & failed casinos. HOW DO YOU SCREW UP STEAK, VODKA & GAMBLING
@causticbob: Beyonce: 'Who run the world?' Generally people who have at least a basic understanding of grammar.
@joeljeffrey: I saw an attractive woman spank her kid in McDonalds after he threw his fries on the ground, so I also threw mine on the ground.