@shariv67: "Your honor, my client is absolutely not a flight risk."n"What makes you so sure?"n"He is a penguin."
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@CharmandBrains: I call bullshit on red wine reducing fat. If there was any truth to that, I'd resemble a crack addict.
@Brianhopecomedy: Let my 4 year old score his first goal on me in hockey & he said, "NA NA, you couldn't stop me!" so he also received his first cross-check.
@joshgondelman: My girlfriend and I are thinking about adopting a dog because we've had no luck trying to have one naturally.
@LindzThoughts: If maxi pad commercials didn't exist, us women would have no idea that we're full of blue windshield wiper fluid.