@lawyerthoughts: Your honor? My client would like to address the court and ruin everything.
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@DaHess1: Christian Mingle: God has hidden a spouse for you on our website. Pay us $30 and see if you can find them.
@foodfacenow: Me: I can't seem to lose weight CW: Have you tried cutting back on your sugar intake Me:*stirring coffee with snickers bar* What do you mean
@laurajennyjo: I'm not going to intervene next time my kids start fighting, I'm just going to close the door and whoever comes out alive will be my kid
@KngHnryVIII: When children, who are hoping for your death so one of them can claim your throne, bring you brekkie in bed, don't eat it. #FathersDay