@lawyerthoughts: Your honor? My client would like to address the court and ruin everything.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shadygrenade: Obama: Get Air Force One ready. Biden: OK! *runs off* Obama: The plane, not the movie. *Biden does 360* Biden: Yeah I know.
@That_Damn_Duck: I've never once used the "C word" in a tweet but I will now!!!! Cookie. There, happy now? You c**ts.
@TotallyAllen: HOW TO START A CONVERSATION ON THE BUS: Look longingly out the window and remark, "Such a shame this is all just gonna burn."
@caliluvgirl77: Therapist: we need to work on YOU taking responsibility for YOUR actions Me: *pulls a flask out* WHO PUT THIS IN MY PURSE?