@Darlainky: Your Honor, these 52 selfies on my clients phone at the precise moment of the crime prove that my client can only be guilty of narcissism.
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@badbanana: That guy who ran through the White House could go to prison for ten years, so there's another reason I don't run.
@ClichedOut: *checking out* Card Reader: Would you like to donate $1.00 to Charity X? □ Y □ N *enters N* CR: Are u a selfish prick? □ Y □ N
@Home_Halfway: "I'm gonna make a cool new social media site for college kids, but only for a few years. Then it'll be a mom scrapbook" ~ Mark Zuckerberg