@dmctaggart: Your house is too dirty if you see bugs with little suitcases leaving it.
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@OfficialBabyGal: Fun game: Take pictures with your camera sound turned up when someone comes into the bathroom stall next to yours.
@citizenkawala: My wife’s story about her day had 18 sub plots, two false finishes, buried the lead and introduced a new character in the third act.
@CoopSoSarc: I hung a horseshoe above the door for goodluck. My wife still came home. Superstitions are stupid.
@heatherlou_: *slips seductively out of shorts* You know what that means... *sleeps soundly for 7 hours* *drools a little*