@dmctaggart: Your house is too dirty if you see bugs with little suitcases leaving it.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Usually when I try to be slick and say "keep the change," the money I've handed over doesn't cover what I'm trying to purchase
@JohnHilsen: Oranges got their name from their orange juice-like flavor and orange juice-like color.
@Dawn_M_: [Speed Dating] People act weird when I explain that I ate my twin in the womb, but when would have been the right time to do it?