@Kendragarden: Your husband's super cute, is he single?
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@ThaJawn: Me: *dying Priest: God has a plan Me: *dies, goes to heaven God: Great you're here. Can you get me the remote off the table?
@XplodingUnicorn: Ladies, if you don't want to answer a question from a guy, say, "I already TOLD you. You never listen." We have no idea if you're lying.
@AliceGolightly_: Me: You've dimmed the lights already, aren't we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen.