@so_amused: 'Your legs, your thighs, they got me hypnotized'
~me talking to my KFC
@UncleDuke1969: I've got hoes in different area codes.
(I'm very careless with my gardening tools.)
@therealeatwood: ME: What an emotional roller coaster
ROLLER COASTER: [calling out to me as I exit the park] Why are you leaving??!! Is it something I said?
@LizzieEMB: Him: Should you be eating that much chocolate?
Me: Should you be using that much oxygen?
@AsgardianRose: I’m bored. I’m going to text my ex boyfriends and say “I have to talk to you, it’s important” and then not answer the phone for 6 days.
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [housefly pilot training]
Instructor: You encounter a window! What do you do?
X: Test the same 3 spots for weakness?
I: Repeatedly! Good.