@RorynotRoy: Your neck tattoo says "Only God can judge me," yet here I am.
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@Underchilde: If we’re talking and I suddenly look off into the distance at a copse of trees that means I’m thinking of burying you there.
@WritePlay: *dog barks at absolutely everything, every time* Me: SHUT UP *dog barks at burglar, one time* Me: It's like he just knew there was danger
@jeffreyvanclea1: I just want 5 minutes alone with the person who thought it was a good idea to put little plastic stickers on every piece of fruit