@KatieBurnett: Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
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@Birdhumms: The red haired guy in the bakery doesn't like being called... 'The Ginger Bread Man' *lesson learned
@smirkykev: In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, "Oh c'mon...even I've done THAT!"
@WilliamAder: I don't think a single person at the office noticed that I shaved off my mustache. All I heard all day long was, "Where are your pants?"
@joshgondelman: The rush I get from completing a crossword puzzle leads me to believe that trying hard drugs would destroy my life within hours.