@HeyJennyLeone: Your personality finally matches your looks. That's not a compliment.
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@Shock_Monster: Him: Sir, you don't have the experience or fitness to be a fireman. Me: But, I got a mustache! Him: That's cat fur attached with frosting.
@pleatedjeans: Wife: I made you an appt. with the eye doctor Me: [spreading cream cheese onto Destiny's Child CD] MY EYES ARE FINE
@mind_numb: I'm going start wearing a cape instead of headphones to deter people from talking to me.
@Lowenaffchen: if swimming is really exercise then why dont fish have mega muscles. yeah i thought so. drain the pool so we can skateboard in it