@thatUPSdude: Your potato salad recipe is not a "family secret", your uncle Ray who cooks meth in his trailer home is a family secret.
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@max_pad21: I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: "What do you do at a red light?" Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."
@E_lok44: He asked why I put my stick figures on my dash, not the bumper. I had to explain that it was an actual photo of my relatives.
@JasonLastname: If you ever see a ghost DO NOT put a sheet over your head and make noises. They find it offensive.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Someone in the office keeps making decaf coffee & I've narrowed it down to that guy who never gets anything done.