@TheWriteStuff2u: Your proctologist called. He found your head.
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@HoneyWooWoo: Once I get the creative juices flowing, I realize how disgusting that really sounds.
@jake_likes_naps: *cops finds my loose floorboard* Cop: What's under here... *they discover a lifetime supply of hot pockets* Me: I'd like my lawyer now.
@DaddyJew: IT:have you deleted your cookies? Me:yea the chocolate ones. There may be some raisin ones left IT:is there somebody else I could talk to?