@TheWoodenslurpy: Your secrets are safe with me because I literally won’t remember them. This also applies to your birthday. Your birthdays are safe with me.
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@MrGeorgeWallace: I'm just sayin', corn dogs are gonna have to pick a side when the shit goes down between corn and dogs.
@lasergirl70: I'm pretty sure I made one of those "If we're both still single" pacts with someone. I just wish I'd written down his name.
@tarashoe: STRANGER: she has a book. cute and smart ME: [taking a bite of the small layer cake i made to look like a book] STRANGER: a stunning genius
@Cheeseboy22: My son found a SEVEN leaf clover on the neighbor's back porch! I don't have the heart to tell him that it's really a marijuana leaf.