@MensHumor: Your swag is gonna look amazing on that Burger King application.
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@NotthatAdamWest: Carol from Facebook said she's "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That's how days work."
@daemonic3: [robbing Whole Foods] "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok? "Yes!" [puts half the cash] I had to charge for the bag
@jake_lach: I don't punish the dog for eating my unattended food because I do the same thing to other people