@MensHumor: Your swag is gonna look amazing on that Burger King application.
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@bobvulfov: CIA DIRECTOR: if u take this deep undercover assignment, u will have to give up ur own name forever STUART GIGGLEDICK: not an issue, sir
@Home_Halfway: Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I'm describing him.
@dafloydsta: [trying to impress date] HER: I really want to have children. ME: [to waiter] Bring us your finest baby.
@dlicj: my neighbor just told me about an alien sighting he had that was just a regular southwest boeing 737 in the sky but he said he could see into the cockpit with binoculars and there was an alien flying it