@MensHumor: Your swag is gonna look amazing on that Burger King application.
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@gerryhallcomedy: A girl named Ruth quit working at our office. I've been referring to the office as "ruthless" since then. People are pissed.
@sad_tree: [Bank Robbery] Put all the money in the bag and no one- *sees guy wearing a Maroon 5 shirt* MOST people won't get hurt!!
@mikejanson2: Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow? A: You look for the fresh prints! I'll show myself out y'all