@MensHumor: Your swag is gonna look amazing on that Burger King application.
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@maxlavergne: your honor, i nominate the real murderer for the ice bucket challenge!! [a guy stands up] nice
@JohnLyonTweets: Those guys who came by the office to ask for protection money kept breaking things. Like I'm going to pay people that clumsy to protect me!
@Adar79Angie: Him: What gets you hot, baby? Me: mmm, talk to me in an accent. H: Zoinks, like, there's a ghost! Let's get out of here Scoob! M: *swoons*
@SondraDeeMe: What’s the statute of limitations when you think of a comeback for an insult? Please say 17 years.