@Jewbekah: Your tattoo says "only god can judge me" yet here i am....
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@BlindChow: Dad: Son do u know why we named you Titanic Hitting an Iceberg? Titanic Hitting an Iceberg: Because I w– Dad: BECAUSE YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT
@djdarrellripley: Me: You're so selfish! Her: I'm selfless! I spent the last 4 weekends giving back to my community. Me: Oh Please, that was court-ordered..
@HomeProbably: People keep accusing me of using the wrong words in my sentences. It's like everyone in my life has turned into a grandma nazi.
@glo_stevens: Mama said there'd be days like this, and also "knock you out" ??? I don't know, you talk to her. She sounds drunk.