@Jewbekah: Your tattoo says "only god can judge me" yet here i am....
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@psybermonkey: Me: what was with King Solomon having 300 concubines? Bible scholar: it's a mistranslation [Flashback] King Solomon: more porcupines
@Slim_is_Fat: (Watching Liar Liar) Wife: If you couldn't lie for 24 hrs, how much longer would we be married? Me: Until the end of this movie.
@DirtMcTurd: Wait, so hallways in mental institutions aren't called psychopaths? Well they should be.
@Sassafrantz: Some guy just asked if I was Asian cuz he's China get in my pants. Hope your day is as magical as mine.