@NotJPo: Your wife will always agree to let you go out and get drunk with your friends and as long as you're smart and don't go.
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@JaymayAllDay: 1st grade: Color inside the lines. 10th grade: Color outside the lines. Art School: Snort the lines and then go color.
@shhrugg: If I was hanging off a cliff for my life and you told me to take your hand I would stop screaming to tell you I'm afraid of intimacy
@jimmytorosian: *Buys map of world, pins it up on wall* *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands* *Visits the middle of the Atlantic Ocean*
@shopkins776: I never make New Year's resolutions. I just carry the ones over from the previous year and add "This time I'm serious"