@autocorrects: You're 15 and miss the 90's? Yeah, I'm sure those were the best 2 years of your life. Shitting in your pants and eating dirt.
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@Weird_Rash: Feeling pretty tough lately and thinking about joining a gang. Any of you guys need an accountant?
@NicestHippo: It's disturbing that when we see a man's mustache fall off we assume it's an identity theft situation and not a medical emergency
@TrainedHedonist: Car trouble, miss? Allow me to squint, and posture heroically while staring at your labyrinthine engine as panic cascades through my spine.
@3sunzzz: I'm not one to bet, but I'd put $50 on the fact that the waffle was probably created when someone accidentally stepped on a pancake.