@Molly_Kats: You're 35 weeks pregnant and gonna make me do math?
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@Mikecanrant: I just farted real loud and my car alarm went off. Some guy is stealing it but I wanted you guys to know about my fart. Be right back.
@AndRyanTF: Incredible Hulk Experiment-Day 13 Just woke up. Still not a Hulk. Looks like I ate all those moldy bagels for nothing. -Research Continues
@goolicker: There is a special place for people who leave long voicemails, but until the ground thaws, they stay in the freezer.