@boring_as_heck: You're a loose cannon, Detective. Hand in your badge. AND your gun. AND your badge that is actually a gun. AND your gun that shoots badges.
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@Cheeseboy22: I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. This kid working at Baskin Robbins is pretty scared. Now he's crying in the corner.
@AnOrangeSNES: Have you heard about the late great actor? "Wow, he's dead?" *Actor strolls in* Nope, just never on time.
@LoveNLunchmeat: [watching basketball] I bet these guys all have really big *husband stares at me* feet. And that's how you get him to turn off the game.
@EndhooS: [Last supper] Jesus: Same time next week guys? *they all nod* Judas: I'll book a table for 12 Jesus: you mean 13 Judas: yeah..13, I meant 13