@RidiculousSheri: 'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
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@SuperRandomish: Cupcakes are amazing, because holding a full size cake up to your face isn't socially acceptable for some reason.
@julieklausner: I like the word funfetti because it takes confetti, which is used in somber occasions, like funerals, and it repurposes it for fun
@ShaunRightNow: Hooker says $500. I say $50. She walks away. Later, I'm walking with my wife, same hooker sees me and says, I see what you got for $50.
@Underchilde: Sometimes I put a “for sale” sign in my neighbor’s yard and pray the power of suggestion works.