@AlanFelyk: “You’re driving us apart!” —Crazy woman you met on eHarmony who’s hanging onto your windshield wipers as you turn the corner
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@AverageCorners: My sleeping pills say to take them and immediately go to bed, but I feel like I have plenty of time, so km ufmcmszbv ishzn hdu flerf.
@leducviolet: Scientists have identified the dog particle. It is a good particle. Such a good particle yes it is. Does it want a treatsy weatsy yes it doe
@Cain_Unable: -"I hear the Israeli PM isn't too worried about that latest hack because.." -"Please don't" -"...Benjamin's Not on Yahoo" -"I'm leaving you"