@SardonicTart: "You're free now" I say to my stomach as I unbutton my pants.
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@AddledPixie: I've trapped dozens of birds and woodland creatures in my room but not one has helped me get dressed, and they're just shitting everywhere.
@NikiWithIssues: Some days I want to leave everything and just run away with him. Other days I want to own 3 baby dragons and be fireproof and naked.
@abhorrent_wife: Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don't have to share.
@Dani_Feld: A man accidentally made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind. And now, we wait...