@Annekinns: You're having a big wedding? Cool. I'm having a Big Mac
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@awordforaword: Doesn't get paid: has popcorn and vodka martinis for dinner. Gets paid: has popcorn and raspberry vodka martinis for dinner.
@JimmerThatisAll: I just found out that blackbirds aren't afraid of squirrels and now I'm afraid of blackbirds.