@birbigs: "You're joking about calling it Good Friday, right? I told you the part about the nails?" -Jesus #GoodFriday
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@ProdigyNelson: [1st time buying drugs] Me: can I get a *reads smudged notes on hand* married iguana Guy: *opens coat to reveal married iguanas* Me: hell ya
@noxxhell: When Doves get married in a parallel universe they release screaming humans from the cage.
@Chloestylo: Just saw a car with "Just Married" on the back window. Do people still do that? Get married, I mean..