@birbigs: "You're joking about calling it Good Friday, right? I told you the part about the nails?" -Jesus
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@clindsaysway: Cat doesn't realize if he succeeds in tripping me on the way downstairs to feed him, we all die.
@myles_morrison: I practiced cursive for years in elementary school & my electronic bank signature still looks like it was signed by a drunk monkey.
@shariv67: If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it's working.