@UnFitz: "You're just not my cup of tea" I say to someone else's cup of tea.
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@EddieHarris216: Announcer: The referee has thrown a yellow flag. A red flag, a green, an orange, a blue. I'm now being told a magician has run on the field.
@TheCiscoKidder: Fight Club, but instead of blowing up all the financial institutions, they reset all twitter follower counts back to zero.
@BlindChow: Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom's friend Frank, the fork living next door.
@sixfootcandy: I just left a pregnancy test box in my brother's bathroom to mess with him and his new girlfriend.