@peterjames48: You're leaving Twitter? For good? That's too bad. We'll miss you. See you next week!
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@sofarrsogud: 3 AM BRAIN: You awake? ME: I am now! B: I was wondering.. M: B: Did the inventor of the elasticated waistband get the Nobelt Prize?
@stephenjmolloy: Pilot: "What does this button do?" *intercom turns on* Pilot: "Doesn't do anything. Not sure what any of these buttons do."
@Dani_Feld: Dr: Are you sexually active? Me: *cries* Dr: Um, are you sexually- Me: *cries harder* Dr: .....Ok. Do you drink? Me: YES I BLOODY DRINK