@ventivodkacran: You're missing the point and possibly a chromosome...
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@TitaniumToplass: Just found out that umbrellas open up. I always wondered why my rain stick never kept me dry. We never stop learning do we.
@_davidlucas_: People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.
@BuckyIsotope: *jumps out of plane* *begins reading parachute instruction manual* STEP 1: PUT ON PARACHUTE *looks up* Well hell
@SortaBad: me: [trying to sound cool] I'm in a punk band cute co-worker: that's cool. What the band's name? me: [looking over desk for ideas] Inbox(29)