@Freudianscript: You're not considered antisocial if no one wants to talk to you.
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@KevinFarzad: I always keep a baseball bat under my bed in case 17 people break in and wanna play baseball
@WigCannon: Do you know why I pulled you over? "Yes, because I was driving a motorized toilet." I meant this time "Oh. No." Please step out of the oven.
@duplicitron: Once a guy at the grocery store yelled at me to stop talking on a banana like a phone so I hung up and shot him with it.