@jordan_stratton: You're not impressing anyone, server who didn't write down our orders. You're just making us anxious.
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@crushingbort: one time I saw a cop on a horse start to walk it down some steps and I thought "oh the horse is trained for stairs" and then they both fell
@ShortSleeveSuit: [speed dating] Her: Nice to meet you Me [on meth]: I HAVE MISUNDERSTOOD THE SITUATION