@thatdutchperson: "You're not pretty enough. Now pay us $3.99 so we can tell you why." - Magazines
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@7_Cents: *eats an entire box of cereal in one sitting* Wtf there's no prize in this? "Sir, we don't sell cereal. This is Petsmart."
@3sunzzz: Me: My son totaled another car. Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons? M: yes P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO ARUBA!
@Tmoney68: "Stomach...Lungs...Kidneys....Heart." - Me, at my organ recital. (Not even slightly sorry)
@BrettDruck: It's always the Great Wall of China, but I feel bad for all the other walls in China. They're like "Hey i'm a pretty good wall too."