@thatdutchperson: "You're not pretty enough. Now pay us $3.99 so we can tell you why." - Magazines
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@matt_simpson84: The best thing about Facebook is learning about all the 19-year-olds that miss the 80s.
@murrman5: good news and bad news. bad news is the dog pissed on the bed "we don't have a dog" *smiles getting ready to deliver the good news*
@kelkulus: Kim Jong Un has upgraded himself from "Leader of North Korea" to "Supreme Leader of North Korea" by adding sour cream and extra cheese.
@KenJennings: My son just told me he wouldn't kill baby Hitler b/c of what that would do to the space program. Not 100% sure if he's a Nazi or just a nerd