@northpacific: "You're not the pizza guy." Bin Laden's last words.
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@dougbies: My phone died, so I was forced to "print" a physical copy of my boarding pass, just like The Wright Brothers used to in the olden days
@hippieswordfish: ME: *opens planner and puts on reading glasses* no im sorry looks like i can't make it FRIEND: you're holding a VCR warranty brochure
@hdaniels_00: When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning", I sleep til noon because I am a problem solver