@northpacific: "You're not the pizza guy." Bin Laden's last words.
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@CaptainObtuse: Just printed out 50 copies of today's weather forecast to carry around with me today because I'm just not in the mood for small talk.
@LosLos__: My parenting book would be just a series of "Shhh" with different lengths and punctuation for various occasions.
@TySmithdrums: Imagine a drunk porcupine trying to sneak into bed without waking his porcupine wife but his porcupine wife put balloons everywhere.
@librarianfonz: It's especially on Fridays at 5 pm when I wish I could slide down the back of a brontosaurus directly into my car.