@SamGrittner: You're one day closer to death AND you get free cake? What’s not to like about birthdays?
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@Ms_WhateverV: "You can't tell me what to do! I do what I want!"- toddlers, teenagers and US congress
@dave_cactus: [Grade 6] TEACHER: You can't end a sentence with a preposition. ME: You just did. TEACHER: What? ME: Ended a sentence with "a preposition."
@TweetingDadGuy: When my daughter gets older, she will have a camera phone OR a mirror. Not both. Thanks for the advice Twitter.
@mattr_in_nc: Contrary to popular belief, tigers do not holler if you catch them by the toe. Also, could someone call an ambulance?