@abbycohenwl: You're only as old as the sounds you make when you get out of the car
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@NicestHippo: *tries online dating* Oh…oh no *tries real life dating* Ok this is actually worse somehow
@Sarcasticsapien: When people say things like "You can't change the past" I can't help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Can you do what you want at work? Me: No, I have to listen to my boss. 4: Mom is at your work?
@WilliamAder: Shattner didn't go to Nimoy's funeral, and Obama's been on the phone all weekend with the Vulcan ambassador, trying to smooth things over.