@krisv_723: You're only as old as you feel, they say. So, 80. Today it's 80.
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@SladeWentworth: McDonald's french fries are not real food. Just found one under my car seat from two months ago and it looked perfect. Tasted fine, too.
@LoveNLunchmeat: If someone dies from laced cocaine, does the coroner write "devastating blow" on the death certificate?
@drewtoothpaste: I love it when websites pop up a box to make me subscribe to read, and I always enter my real email address because it's important.
@BlindChow: Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom's friend Frank, the fork living next door.