@EricGoldie: You're right, homeless man on the subway...it is a "clip your toenails into your McDonald's cup" kind of morning.
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@pinupteacher: [blind date] "Oh wow, I see you brought your Legos." *huge sigh* LEGO. It's called Lego.
@Kendragarden: I call my nephews "Dude" and "Homie" because I'm the cool Aunt! (I don't know their names.)
@Donnie_Fairburn: [bursts into garage] "why is your car still on? you've been in here for 3 days" i'm trying to kill myself "but you drive an electric car"