@EricGoldie: You're right, homeless man on the subway...it is a "clip your toenails into your McDonald's cup" kind of morning.
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@dlsims01: Life is like a cup of coffee... No matter how much sugar you put in it, there's always grounds at the end.
@Alex_LaVallee: My 4yr old daughter just charged me $47 for a fake cake she cooked in her pretend oven. I laughed. ... She stared at me until I paid her.
@FeverFlave: Why does Mommy always say no? Well Son, if Mommy said yes all the time you'd have 20 more siblings.
@undeadmolly: A reality show where gay marriage opponents have to live under 100% Biblical laws for six months so they can show us how awesome it is.