@DWaitress: You're right, sir. It's MY fault that your credit card was declined. Please, tell me again how much money you have in that account.
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@BucMarvin: If Bugs Bunny was as sarcastic in real life as he was in the cartoons I'd be like, "HOLY SHIT A TALKING RABBIT!"
@rpbateman: Sometimes I tell myself that everything that I've been through in life is totally worth it. Then I laugh hysterically.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: What’s “saying grace?” Me: It’s when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave?
@Phook75: If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they'd have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.