@skullcat: You're so empty inside....nnn....stupid fridge.
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@rolldiggity: Dog Walking Business Idea: 1. Train every dog to walk another dog. 2. Put the dogs in a dog walking circle. 3. GO TO A MOVIE!
@SondraDeeMe: [first date] ME: I'm from a broken home. HIM: When did your parents divorce? ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.
@pleatedjeans: [blood bank] Doc inserts needle [turns around] YOU AGAIN! [vampire sucking on tube like straw] GO ON SCOOT [chases him from room with broom]
@AJslackie2: 2007 social media: wow connected with an old friend from high school 2017 social media: the cheese smoked gouda is linked to racism