@StevStiffler: You're so fake, even China denied they made you.
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@kibblesmith: Nice try "Marco Rubio" — or should I say... [rearranges letters] "BIRAC UBOMA" [audience gasps]
@girl_a_whirl: [Interview] "Tell me your weaknesses" Me: Well, I.. *wife busts in* He's a mouth breather, leaves the toilet seat up, forgets to take out th
@TheCatWhisprer: Made it to the level of old where I turned down a beer so it wouldn't mess with the aftertaste of the milkshake I just had.
@TheIronSherk: You really shouldn't label sandwiches, I mean they have a right to exist in a world without labels and judgements just like everyone else.